Smile
by SunshineGirl2500
Summary: The prequel to my other story The Girl in the Picture. In this story Kokoro must go through joining the academy and surviving bullies. She feels lost and forces her smiles until she meets him, then she doesn't have to pretend anymore. Toshiro/OC. Hiatus.


Kokoro Haruka had, what most would assume, a miserable life. She was born on the merciless streets of Kusajishi and lived there until her mother died. Her father left them because he didn't care. Kokoro was never told about this to keep her hopeful and smiling. Her mother took care of her through everything, and worked herself so hard that she grew very ill. Kokoro took on so much responsibility the day her mother fainted for the first time. She took care of her mother until the day she was finally too sick to live any longer. Her mother told her with her last words,

_'Kokoro…smile…you must for you are so beautiful when you smile…and every time you smile I smile.' _

Kokoro promised that even if things got unbearable she would smile for others just to make them happy and to make her mother smile wherever she was now. Kokoro caught a ride with a passing merchant and paid him with a fraction of what little money she had. The merchant let her off at Inuzuri, which was not much better than Kusajishi. Kokoro made her way on the streets earning a small amount of money doing odd jobs for those who were desperate for help. She didn't have much and not one person in town had pity on her, not even the other children of the street. She was announced the freak of the district because of her abnormal hair color she claimed to be natural and the demonic eyes she had. Although her features were different, Kokoro was still a very pretty girl, but difference drew away from her face and personality. Her hairstyle was two buns and hair that streamed from them, but she still had hair that remained down. Kokoro never showed a hint of anger or distaste for fellow villagers. She smiled at the ones who glared at her and waved to the ones who gave her the cold shoulder. Kokoro often got bullied by all the other kids and ignored by the ones she worked for. Kokoro usually acquired a new injury from bruises to cuts to broken bones. Kokoro mended her injuries each day and returned to working. Kokoro made her way around town for years until one special day.

Kokoro saw a huge group of people gathering around the center of the town. She stopped to look still carrying a bag of vegetables. Others pushed past her to look at what was such a big deal. Kokoro wondered what everyone was staring at. She made her way over to the crowd and found she couldn't get past anyone to see. She got down on her knees and crawled to the front and stood back up. She looked about and saw a tall man with long white hair. He looked kind and gentle and he was smiling at the children who were close to him and talking to the head of the district. Kokoro wondered who this man was,

"Hey; sorry to bother you but who is that?" Kokoro asked

"What, are you stupid? That's a captain of the thirteen court guard squads!" the man next to her said with a bite. Kokoro looked back to the man,

"Thank you for telling me!" she said disregarding his insults, "A soul reaper, really?" she said in awe. She had heard so many things about soul reapers. Kokoro could only dream of being one. Her pink eyes seemed to sparkle with admiration and ambition. The smile crept back onto her face. Suddenly she felt a force on her back and she fell in front of the others and the vegetable from the bag spilled onto the dirt. Kokoro sat back up and saw the spilt vegetable all over the place. "Oh no, Hokkaido-san will be so unhappy!" Kokoro frantically gathered the contents of the bag and saw one appear in front of her face. She looked up to the kind face of the squad captain,

"Here, I saw you fall and I thought I might help." He said with a warm smile. Kokoro carefully took the item from him.

"Thank you." Kokoro said shyly. Kokoro would have to wash them all and throw out the ones that were bruised.

"You took quite a fall, are you alright?" The captain asked holding out his hand to help her,

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you for helping me!" Kokoro said smiling widely at the captain.

"My name is Jushiro Ukitake, Captain of Squad Thirteen." The kind man introduced himself

"I'm Kokoro Haruka." Kokoro said, "I'm sorry to have interrupted your conversation."

"It's no trouble at all. I'm glad to help." He said with a reassuring smile. Kokoro glanced back down to the dirty vegetables,

"I'm sorry, but I have to go. Thank you again!" Kokoro said with a bow. She ran off to the nearest faucet. Ukitake looked after the girl. There was something about her. He felt just the slightest glimmer of spirit pressure.

Kokoro washed each vegetable carefully, making sure that all the dirt was washed away and she could see her reflection in it. Kokoro hummed as she worked, it kept her spirits up and mind off of everything else. Kokoro suddenly felt something grab a hold on her hair and shove her back to the ground. Kokoro looked up to see Hokkaido-san. He was a man at least twice as tall as Kokoro,

"H-Hokkaido-san…" Kokoro stuttered as she looked up from the ground.

"I saw you spill all the merchandise earlier! What were you thinking you little brat! Now we can't use them for anything!" he yelled at her pointing to the vegetables.

"But, I cleaned all of them! They're not dirty anymore!" Kokoro tried to reason with the man who hired her.

"You can't risk it! If the customers found out that they were dropped on the ground they'll want refunds! I can't afford that!" Hokkaido yelled as he yanked her up from the ground. "I'll never hire you again!" he slammed Kokoro up against a wall and let her slide to the ground. He forced her to lie on the ground as he stepped on her shoulder. Kokoro cried out, "I'll tell everyone around town you cannot be trusted. You'll never get work around here again, freak." Hokkaido walked away leaving Kokoro on the ground. Kokoro used everything she had not to cry. She had to keep smiling for her mother or she would be letting her down. Kokoro struggled to get up onto her feet, but managed to by using the wall and started off. Kokoro lived in an abandoned house where she kept the few things she had. She has managed to buy a few bandages. She did her best to treat her shoulder and sat alone in silence.

_'Why can't I do anything right? If I can't work I can't pay for anything. I guess I'll end up dying early. Funny how things work out. Not really.'_ Kokoro's thoughts were interrupted by a growl from her stomach. She noticed now that there was a pain in her stomach. Kokoro wondered. She hadn't felt that before. What was it? Kokoro let it go as it was not that bad. Kokoro sat thinking about ways she could make it by, but the pain in her stomach continued to grow. Kokoro eventually came to the state when the pain hurt so much she felt like she would faint soon. Kokoro held pressed her hands to her stomach to stifle the sounds it made. Kokoro curled into a ball hoping the pain would go away. She fell asleep feeling weaker than ever. Kokoro was so wrapped up in her stomach she didn't hear the footsteps in her small home.

Jushiro Ukitake knew that girl was growing spiritual pressure. If that was the case then she would surely starve if she didn't realize it soon. Jushiro searched for her spirit pressure and found her in an abandoned home. He could hardly believe that sweet girl was living alone and in such a condition. Ukitake saw that girl had an impressive smile, how did she keep that up when she had nothing? Ukitake stepped into the home and saw Kokoro asleep. He looked around and saw there wasn't even a bed for her to sleep on. He observed the space around him. The area was surrounded by pink electricity. She was letting her spirit pressure leak. Jushiro walked to her and knelt to her side to wake her.

_Kokoro was surrounded by pink electricity and thundering noises all around. Kokoro looked up and all the chaotic noise seemed to face away into the back and she saw a beautiful butterfly. It glowed a lovely shade of pink too. The butterfly seemed to say something, but the voice was muffled and Kokoro could not understand a word of what it said. 'Why is this?' she asked 'I can hardly hear what they're saying?' _

Kokoro felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and her eyes began to flutter open. Kokoro looked up to see the captain from earlier. He reached in his haori and pulled out a small white clothe with something in it. He untied it to reveal four rice balls and he had put out a cup of water. She was about to greet him, but he stopped her,

"Here, these are for you. What you are feeling is hunger. This will make the pain go away." Ukitake told her gently. He held out one of the rice balls and gave it to her.

"I couldn't take your food-"

"These were made specifically for you. They will give you energy." Jushiro told her with a smile. She hesitantly took a bite. "Because you were weakened by hunger that means you have spirit pressure. Do you see the air around us?" Kokoro looked about to see what he was referring to. There was pink electricity everywhere. "This is your spirit pressure leaking. Powerful kids like you need to learn to control this before you hurt yourself or others. I'm sure you've noticed in your dreams you see someone."

"Yes…I don't know what it means." Kokoro told him

"It will make sense in time. If you become a soul reaper and apply to Shino Academy you will learn to control your abilities." Ukitake told her

"I'm not strong or smart enough to become a soul reaper." Kokoro said looking down.

"With a strong spirit pressure like yours, you are." Ukitake said to her, "For now, just eat and then apply to the academy. Oh and here is some candy." He put a bag of candy in her lab and stood to leave, "Just think about it, it will be your best chance for survival and to get off of these streets. Inuzuri is no place for a girl like you." Ukitake took his leave and Kokoro stared after him. She ate the rice balls and drank the water gratefully and got some sleep. Tomorrow she would go to that academy and take that exam.

Kokoro walked to the school looking up to see how big it was. She had never seen a place to extravagant. Kokoro took a deep breathe a walked in as others did as well. Kokoro would make it as a soul reaper. She had to. She had to repay the captain of squad thirteen for his kindness. Kokoro looked around the halls and saw a sign that pointed her to the testing area. She took a packet and started the test. Kokoro tried her hardest, but what she worked the most on was the essay about why you believe you should be accepted to the academy.

_I cannot promise that I belong in the academy and I cannot promise that I will be a model student, but what I can assure you of is that I will always try my hardest and I will never give up. Before I came here I was visited by a captain. He told me I was strong. Although I cannot comply with his praise I found comfort in his words. He showed me kindness and compassion for the first time in a long time and I elected for sure to become a soul reaper to make it up to him. I promised it to him and I promised it to myself. I know that if and when I become a soul reaper I will keep the promises I make and I will protect everyone and I will never give up halfway. If you accept me I will never let you down. I know what it's like to be let down and to disappoint others. The feeling is horrible and I will do everything in my power to avoid those feelings and work my hardest to be my best. _


End file.
